I've been talking with a dear friend lately about marriage and the time before marriage- what to do, how to prepare, what mentality one must have.
I would love to be married and be a wife and a mother; I dream of keeping my own house and providing for my children and husband. I feel very strongly about waiting for God's Prince Charming to waltz into the dance that is my life instead of walking around looking for the perfect man for myself. I still believe that if I follow God's calling in every aspect of my life and make Christ my true Prince Charming, that marriage, if it is in God's plans for me, will be a blessing.
But I did realize that one thing I was doing was striving to be faithful with the expectation of blessing. My dear friend pointed this out to me. "God will bless faithfulness -- but we mustn't be faithful so we can receive blessing. We must be faithful because that is the least we can do since we have been redeemed from a life of slavery to sin," she said.
I see that I should be faithful only because He was faithful on the cross to forgive me my sins... Not because I want Him to bless me. The fact is He already has blessed me. He has blessed me with Himself. What more do I need? What more should I want? I now will be faithful to Christ alone, and remember that I need to love Him more than anyone else- even a husband.
If I live my life with no expectations, I will never be disappointed or discouraged. I only can expect Christ, because He is the only truth and faithfulness that can fulfill my expectations.
I still pray for my future husband, if he is out there somewhere. I know God has put this desire in my heart for a reason. I still ask God that, if it is His Will, that I will be given the blessing of marriage and motherhood. But now, I look on it as a request, not a necessity- a hope, not an ambition.